And however one might sentimentalize it, this sex business was one of the most ancient, sordid connexions and subjections. Poets who glorified it were mostly men. Women had always known there was something better, something higher. And now they knew it more definitely than ever. The beautiful pure freedom of a woman was infinitely more wonderful than any sexual love. The only unfortunate thing was that men lagged so far behind women in the matter. They insisted on the sex thing like dogs.
And a woman had to yield. A man was like a child with his appetites. A woman had to yield him what he wanted, or like a child he would probably turn nasty and flounce away and spoil what was a very pleasant connexion. But a woman could yield to a man without yielding her inner, free self. That the poets and talkers about sex did not seem to have taken sufficiently into account. A woman could take a man without really giving herself away. Certainly she could take him without giving herself into his power. Rather she could use this sex thing to have power over him. For she only had to hold herself back in sexual intercourse, and let him finish and expend himself without herself coming to the crisis: and then she could prolong the connexion and achieve her orgasm and her crisis while he was merely her tool.
From “Lady Chatterley’s Lover” by D.H. Lawrence
Is Lady Chatterley right? Men have been distorting the meaning of sex and glorifying it. She says that “A man was like a child with his appetites … men insisted on the sex thing like dogs. A woman had to yield him what he wanted, or like a child he would probably turn nasty.” Let’s not forget that the author of this novel is a man. D. H. Lawrence has some insight into this issue. “ But, is he correct when he puts himself in a woman’s shoes? Discussing sex, he writes:” Poets who glorified it were mostly men. Women had always known there was something better, something higher. And now they knew it more definitely than ever. The beautiful pure freedom of a woman was infinitely more wonderful than any sexual love.”
Are women different from men when it comes to sex? I might be wrong, but I have the impression that this has changed quite a bit. That nowadays, men and women are alike. They view sex with the same attitude, assign the same values to it, and use it for the same purpose. Yet, don’t forget that I am a man, and a man cannot duplicate a woman’s physical sensations or subjective feelings.
